PET PEEVE OF THE WEEK
WHEN TUBES OF TOOTHPASTE FART:
This, my friends and foe alike, is a recent discovery. And so, I do
not have enough repetitive information to verify its accuracy. Here
is the situation of which I have become aware a few times in the past
few days. I have three different tubes of toothpaste, one of which I
use regularly. The other two are for in case. Two tubes are 2” x 6”
and one tube (This is the one I mostly use) is 1.75” x 5”. The
larger tubes contain 4oz. and 3.4oz. respectively. The small one
contains1.8oz. Or so it is printed on the outside. I was born
innocent, and so when you told me something, I believed it. And then
I got older, and the older I got, the less I believed. Today, the
only thing I truly believe is that they’re all trying to screw me.
Call me a cynic. A few days ago, as I was glancing at that crazy
looking devil in the mirror, I picked up my dental brush and began
to squish some toothpaste on in. All of a sudden, the tube farted and
a wee gush of air came out before the rest of the portion of
toothpaste I was seeking followed. My suspicious mind immediately
went into high gear. Are the ounces the tube says the ounces the tube
has? Do the people who dole the product out, program the computer
directed squooshers to interrupt the pasty flow with a bubble of air,
reducing the amount by a smidgeon. Multiply that bubble with a world
population of 7.8 billion and multiply that amount by the amount of
toothpaste replaced by that wee bit of a bubble, and we’re talking
big bucks here folks. I submit that I DO NOT know if this is true.
But these are not the questions. The multiple questions are as
follows. Is this possible? Is this tempting? Or is this nothing more
than happenstance which resides in dubious comfort a mere micron
above suspicion? And my last but
not least
of course, for extra credit, how many of you answered Yes, Yes, and
No to my first three questions? Let me know. Do we thing alike? Or is
my thinking process simply
an aberration born of a cynical mind?
