TIDBITS

PET PEEVE OF THE WEEK

WHEN THE PAST IS THE PRESENT: Okay folks. Play along. Imagine if you will, that Alex has not yet been born but in spite of that, texting is rampant among the colonies. Your fingers, though a bit worn at the nubs, are lightening fast. Hey Carole. Don’t forget to bring home some potatoes. Your fingers fly. Yo Jimbo. There’s a good flic at the Zoombah movie house. John Smythe is the star. And now you wait for an interminable answer. What if their texting gadgets are not turned on? And so you wait for the invention of the century to do its thing. What would the world do without texting? And then, as if often happens, a child is born. His name is Alex. He’s a tinkerer first class. At six months old he’s solving 100 piece jigsaw puzzles. By the time he’s one year old, he can do 1000 piece puzzles in less than an hour. He’s a genius. And he grows up. He’s no longer called Alex. He now calls himself Alexander. He rarely comes out of his basement. Till one day a scream emanates from deep within the caverns of his house. Eureka, he yells out to the world. And they all come running in droves. What did that Alexander Graham Bell invent this time? Oh my god. It’s a telephone. We don’t have to text anymore. We can call and get immediate answers. Ah. If only it had been that way. Texting would be out the window. I wouldn’t have to wait for my lady to tell me if she still loves me. I could call her and speak to her live. Alas … too often the order of things come out inverted. And so we text ad infinitum because we always had the telephone.